Life is a collection of days, and none of us know the size of our own collection. It is that mystery that should make us find some magic in every day. Some days though, it is difficult to see through personal struggles, the pain of a broken body, heart, and spirit. I have learned that these are the very days which contain ones greatest defining moments.
The song Bad Way was born on January 19th, 2013 as I sat in the recliner that I had lived in for many days straight. The stack of narcotics on the stand next to me was my only way to battle the crippling pain from the six herniated discs in my back. They had begun flaring up almost a month earlier when a mere hint of trouble grew daily into agonizing pain. Now I was almost completely immobile, unable to walk or even crawl. The only way to move was to be in a crab walk position and scoot, inch by inch, while experiencing incredible pain and intense spasms from my back to my foot. As my body failed me, my spirit began to follow. The old saying “Idle hands are the devils playground” can be expanded to “An idle body, coupled with adversity, is fertile ground for negativity and depression.” As I felt myself slipping, then falling over an emotional cliff, something deep inside me caught a branch on the way down. This moment of pause allowed that inner voice of truth to scream through the ugly noise in my head and demand that I separate the things I cannot control, from those I most certainly can. I vividly recall the moment of clarity that came right then as I saw myself take possession of that personal truth.
Looking at History, moments of heroism, the greatest victories, and the most inspirational stories, they are all born from great adversity. Refusing to let my own adversity bring defeat, I made a conscious choice to turn this adversity into opportunity. Even this terrible day was mine, one of my collection, it was time to take ownership of it.
I was inspired to be a songwriter because songs and music reached into a part of me that nothing else could. It brought inspiration and peace, motivation and magic. Songs have the power of healing, first to the songwriter, and then to anyone who can relate. So there it was, it was now not just an idea, but my responsibility. This was an opportunity to reach into the air and capture this moment in song, then share it. I reached past the bottles of pills, scooped up my iPad, and wrote the words which became the song Bad Way. The lyrics encapsulated that moment in time for me. I was in a bad way.